Sex Therapy
We expect sex to be easy and natural, but sometimes it isn’t. Sex is about connecting and that’s not always so simple.
We all have accelerators—that which excites us sexually—and brakes—that which turns us off. Figuring out what’s getting in the way of a full, exciting, and satisfying sex life entails becoming more confident in what you want and who you are.
Offerings
Cultivating intimacy. Individuals and couples seek sex therapy because they want to work on cultivating sexual and emotional intimacy. Deepening intimacy can be be both frightening and exciting—expressing one’s feelings and desires to a partner is about as vulnerable as one can get.
Navigating consensual non-monogamy (CNM). Opening one’s relationship is an exciting, if daunting, process. There are a lot of models for how to have a monogamous, long-term relationship—less so for consensually non-monogamous partnerships. A good therapist can help couples consider the benefits and challenges of opening up, navigate the difficult emotions that come with consensual non-monogamy or polyamory, and collaborate to develop boundaries and guidelines.
Desire discrepancy and inactive sex lives. Couples—and, sometimes, individuals—seek out sex therapy because one partner wants to be having sex more than the other. We explore why the couple isn’t having more sex, which can be for any number of reasons. Much of this work—including when it’s a couple client—is about self-exploration. I work with clients to explore their own erotic templates so they can better communicate to their partner what excites them sexually.
Sexual trauma. Whether or not it’s the primary reason they come to see me, clients often present with a history of sexual trauma. My work entails processing what happened, how the trauma has been integrated into the body, and how it’s coming up in present-day sexual situations.
Sexual compulsions. Sometimes controlling your sexual urges isn’t so easy. Clients come to see me to get help understanding the feeling states that lead them to sexual compulsions such as out-of-control porn use. We explore how and why you find yourself returning to habits and behavior that doesn’t always make you feel good about yourself.
Erectile unpredictability (AKA Erectile Dysfunction.) Erectile unpredictability is quite common among men of all ages and it’s often largely psychological. My work with clients facing erectile challenges entails helping clients to consider and understand the circumstances and conditions that are helpful to them feeling confident and connected. Often times, erectile unpredictability vastly improves once a client develops effective communication with a loving partner or partners. Part of our work is exploring what gets in the way.
Premature ejaculation. Challenges with premature ejaculation—when men achieve orgasm more quickly than they would like—often occur because, for one reason or another, a client hasn’t learned how to effectively modulate their penile sensitivity and erotic excitement. Overcoming premature ejaculation entails exploring the root causes—often an unconscious discomfort around sex and sexuality—and discussing effective and practical ways to modulate sensitivity and delay orgasm.
Exploring kinks, fetishes, and turn-ons. Sex therapy clients sometimes come in because they want to explore their erotic templates. Sometimes a client or their partner is uncomfortable with what excites them sexually, or sometimes a client wants to better understand where their turn-ons come from and how to explore them in safe and satisfying ways.